1. Who benifits? Always find out which fucker is the fucker that gets the most fucks for fucking the fuckee.
2. Who is getting laid and who is not? Those who get laid are far more likely to not committ crimes than those who are not getting it. Usually it is some dude that wants to do my stripper wife and can't. He gets a little pent up inside
3. Who smells? Come on, this really should be rule number one. Those who are stinky are bad.
4. Who has bad credit? Repossessions equal crime. If you can't pay a fucking 25 dollar medical collection then you will probably need to steal
5. Who doesn't like strip clubs? Those people just spook me out.
6. Who is the person at the karaoke bar that never sings? If you hang out around the singing crowd and you never sing, you are a suspect.
7. Who eats soup as a meal? Check out the person that brings soup to work, soup os not a meal, it is flavored water.
8. Listen around bathrooms and get those that don't wash their hands. If you'll touch your face after touching a toilet then you are likely to be criminal.
9. Arrest all assholes. The bigger the asshole, lock them up. Even if they didn't do anything, aren't we all better off?
10. Watch as much TV as possible. There are very few crimes out there that haven't been thought through on shows like Magnum PI